Ok, we’ve all that this experience, whether we work in a small independent office or for a large corporation. That time when someone cooks something in the microwave that sends us all running, screaming from the lunch room. It might be an exotic dish cooked up by a visiting relative or that particularly pungent spice found in authentic burritos that makes the common microwave unusable for hours, faster than a burnt bag of Orville Redenbachers’ best. In the end, it is usually too much of a hassle to take these epicurean issues to HR, and employees have learned to get around such minor disasters in their own clever and inventive ways.
Ah…but that’s the story of the “smells that repels”! What about aromas that invite? What about the sweet waftings of a warming cinnamon bun early in the morning or a lasagna leftover bubbling in its Farberware® container in the afternoon? What about trying to eat your food in peace, while a bevy of co-workers circle you like so many ravenous carrion crunchers, making idle chit-chat about the local lacrosse team, while what they really want is a taste of your last apple fritter? And especially at this time of the year, when Fall spreads across the land, nothing invites unwanted attention more than a slice of warm pie, exploding with the aroma of Pumpkin Spice!
Ways to be subtle with your yummy repasts!
If you have your own office, you are pretty much protected from this particular problem. You can dart into the common lunch area, snag the microwave for a few minutes before the crowd hits, and then rush back to the sanctity of your own four walls, closing the door behind you. Your privacy—and more importantly your lunch—being secure.
But, what if you have only a bare cubicle and are surrounded by fellow workers who were too late to make their own lunch today, and don’t have the time to go out to pick up something? What if you are forced to not only use the microwave in the common lunch room, but also to actually sit there and eat, while you are eyed by jealous faces, each one more lean and hungry-looking than the last?
Well, you can plan to eat earlier, making sure that you get in and out before many of the others clock out for their lunch breaks. On special occasions when you bring a lunch that is simply too yummy to ignore, you can eat outside (if your office has a patio areaor even in your car. There are stories of employees who not only eat in their cars, but leave their lunches on the dashboard in one of those modified pizza delivery sacks to simmer languidly in the sun for a couple hours before eating. They say this heating method is superior to microwaving, because, by retaining the moisture, it doesn’t dry out the food. Of course, caution must be suggested whenever mayonnaise or creamy sauces are involved.
Use the old “Divert and Digest” Strategy!
Of course, if you have no choice but to be chained to the rigid restraints of taking lunch at the same time as everyone else in the company, there are still some tricks you can employ. One way to ensure you have freedom to feast in the afternoon is to bring in an enticing breakfast plate in the morning. A large package of croissants from CostCo® will run you about $6.99—a fair price for the afternoon peace it brings. If you can get your co-workers to chow down around 9:00am or so, it will be that much easier for you to sneak pretty much anything past them between the hours of 12:00pm and 2:00pm. There is also the option of bringing in “enough to share” if your comestible compendium is large enough (or your office small enough).
The dangers of refrigeration!
Before concluding, we need to address the slightly taboo topic of the lunch room refrigerator; sometimes known as “The Cold-Storage Stealer” or, simply, “The Chiller of Doom” due to the many edible items that disappear daily from the mounds of munchies tucked inside. Many employees are using small coolers and even lockable totes to keep their lunches and snacks from falling into the wrong hands. Some still cling to the old ways, placing pieces of white paper tape on their containers and boldly ascribing their names. Unfortunately, some employees tend to consider this personalization as a direct challenge, and consider it a duty to remove and consume these items as efficiently as possible. But, when in doubt, try to find room for your container in one of the drawers and hope for the best!
Consider your options!
It is important to consider your options when warming up your lunch or snacks in a closed office environment. Take heed of some of the warnings in this post, and plan your meals according. Most important of all, never forget—especially at this time of the year—that Pumpkin Spice can be deadly!
Please Note: the idea that Pumpkin Spice—in all its various forms and applications—can be a source of ravenous responses on the part of co-workers is the opinion of the writer and not necessarily of ABIL Solutions, LLC. Governmental studies regarding the propensity of Pumpkin Spice to incite erratic behavior in employees have proven inconclusive.